Lynn Claessens: The polished content everywhere made me wonder. Is something wrong with me?

 * 34 years old -> trying to find myself and my purpose in this life ★ lives in Belgium -> started the project “a year of brutal honesty,” where she shares her views, struggles and thoughts on life ✗ she loves her husband, kids, dogs and likes to read. Oh, and of course, watching Netflix :)

@ayearofbrutalhonesty

More than a year ago, you started the project “a year of brutal honesty” on Instagram. I must say the account could not be more different than all of the polished content we are used to seeing! What motivated you to start this project?

Exactly that! The polished content everywhere, it made me wonder if something was wrong with me. How can all of these people do so well in life? All I saw was traveling, beautiful cars, perfect outfits and amazing families. What was I doing wrong? My house is always a mess, laundry piles up, we haven’t traveled in about four years and money is always tight. So, I wanted to throw my version of life out there; to be brutally honest.

Through your series of very personal posts, you reveal a lot about your struggles with depression, money and family. Was it difficult for you to be so open and how does your family feel about your sharing, especially about them?

It was difficult and in the beginning I did hold back sometimes, because I wasn’t sure how people would respond. Maybe they would say I shouldn’t be so weak and toughen up a bit, but they didn’t.  On the contrary, I can’t tell you how many people shared very personal stories about their own struggles that made me cry, making me wish I could help in some way.

In the beginning, only my husband knew about the project and he supported me every step of the way (and still does). But after a few months, my family members started finding me. First, my father’s girlfriend, then my daughter and my husband’s son from a previous marriage…

Every time it happened I had a mini “heart attack.” My heart was out there, on a plate, and they had found it... Would they look at me differently? Turns out, they did. But not like I expected. They understood me better, got a better idea of what I was dealing with and how to help me.

“Would they look at me differently?

Turns out, they did.

But not like I expected.

They understood me better, got a better idea of what I was dealing with and how to help me.”

Do you think that people want to hear such brutal honesty? We might think we do, but are we really ready to face such reality?

 I think some of us are and some of us aren’t. Like with everything in life there always seems to be a balance between “yes” and “no,” but I have been blessed with all kinds of followers that are ready to hear it. I am very grateful for that.

What did you learn from this public openness? Has it helped you?

I have learned that we all are struggling – some way or another – and we are all doing the best we can with what we have. Every mother out there is trying so hard to give their kids the best life they can, and every person is looking for fulfillment in some way. It is very humbling and it has helped me to know that bad days pass, they are here, but they are not forever. So many have struggled through much worse things than I have and they all turned out so loving, kind and compassionate. I can only strive to become more like them.

You started this project way before the worldwide pandemic turned everything upside down. In your view, has the pandemic influenced the way we approach the feelings of panic, anxiety or depression? Is our mental health more of a priority now?

I think the pandemic has caused more people to feel panic, anxiety or depression. Most of them maybe never felt this before and it’s a chance to understand others who have been struggling with it perhaps for years. In my mind, mental health has become my number one priority. If the mind is clouded; everything else becomes clouded too. It’s a bad place to be and to anyone struggling, reading this, it passes. Not in one fluent motion. Ups and downs are still part of life, but you’re not alone. I think that’s the most important message from this pandemic: “You are never alone.”

“It is very humbling and it has helped me to know that bad days pass, they are here, but they are not forever.”

Does your project have a definitive end, just like it had a definitive start?

It did. One year, but that “end” passed a few months ago and I’m still here. My story wasn’t finished so I asked my followers if I should continue, extend the year to something more, just to be sure that I wasn’t bugging them with my complaining. Everyone responded positively, so I continued without an end in mind.

What makes you feel alive and content?

Out of all the questions, I find this one the hardest. My answer is going to sound so corny, but I’ve learned that it’s the truth: it’s all in the small things.

Like my husband giving me a hug, my daughter talking to me about something she cares about, my son making a stupid joke or even when my dog takes something out of the trash can with a grin on her face because she knows it’s “bad.”

It’s a hard question because these moments are so fleeting. They take up only minutes of our day and if you’re feeling down, sometimes they just pass you by. You don’t even notice them.

But if you can find just one, every day, I promise you, they will grow bigger and somehow, it will make you feel a little bit better.