Mariska Vermeulen: A lot of women are still struggling with living the life they want to live
* 39 years old -> freelance journalist and editor ★ lives in Amsterdam -> started the project “Women of Europe,”, where she interviews women from different European capitals ✗ loves good food and walking around her neighborhood
Project “Women of Europe” reveals the stories of women living in the capital cities of Europe in its touching interviews. What made you to start interviewing these women?
During my travels, I always enjoyed meeting locals and finding out what their lives are really like. We all have a certain idea of what people in a specific city are like, but is it true, is that the real story? Is life in Rome ‘la dolce vita’? What do Parisiennes themselves think about this image of the ‘perfect Parisienne’? And, do we know anything at all about women in Tirana? I had so many questions and couldn’t wait to hear the answers.
You are talking to women of different ages, origins and backgrounds. Is there a common thread that ties them together?
A lot of them speak English, which might mean they have a certain level of education – I only worked with an interpreter twice. All of them have in common that they’re not afraid to reflect on their life and open up about their deepest feelings. I think it’s quite brave of them.
Is there something specific we should learn from these women?
I’ve noticed that a lot of women gave the same answer to the questions on what their biggest struggle and greatest life lesson was, and what advice they would give other women: dare to be yourself. Apparently, lots of women struggle with being who they really want to be and following their own path. Women feel a lot of pressure from society, family, partners, friends and even, themselves. While the women who did decide at one point to do it their way (like Catia from Lisbon and Paola from Rome), seemed incredibly strong, confident and relaxed to me – I think we could all learn from them. At the same time, they all strongly feel that they’re doing it differently, so the pressure is real.
I also think we can all learn to open ourselves up a little bit more. It’s sometimes super scary to show your vulnerable side. I don’t always find this easy myself! But I find others only respect you for it. It makes you more human. Plus, maybe others feel less alone when they know they’re not the only ones who, for example, feel like shit sometimes.
“Women feel a lot of pressure from society, family, partners, friends and even, themselves.”
Some questions and answers are very personal. What are you looking for in a prospective interviewee and, is there a process that helps you get them to open up?
The questions are indeed very personal, because I want to show who women are behind their ‘masks’ and that in a way we are all struggling and going through something. That’s why I think those stories really matter. But to answer your question, I think women feel that I’m sincere and really interested in what they are telling me. I also think those women feel that I am not there to judge them or have an opinion about their lives, but I’m just there to listen to their stories. So, my interviewees shouldn’t be afraid to talk honestly about the good and the bad in their lives.
What was your most interesting story/interview so far?
It might sound like a cliché, but of course, each woman I speak with is special in their own, unique way. Each one I’ve spoken with has had something interesting to share. I might be interviewing ‘ordinary women,’ but in a way, that concept of ordinary doesn’t exist. I especially enjoy interviewing women who speak straight from the heart. I won’t soon forget the interviews with the oldest (70) and youngest participants (15) so far.
Dominique was a real piece of work! Interviewing this strong Parisian lady was quite the challenge, but I loved it.
And, I felt so much admiration for Amelia from Warsaw, who was only 15 years old at the time, but spoke so openly about suffering from depression and starting a blog to help others who went through the same thing.
I also learned a lot from Maja from Tirana because she has such an original, interesting view on the world. As she is more on the right side of the political spectrum (she has very strong opinions on the #metoo movement) I didn’t always agree with her, but that made it interesting.
We should all listen more to the people we don’t always agree with, something that Prune from Berlin – also a journalist – says so well in the latest interview.
What inspires women and what are their biggest struggles that they face today?
Maybe I should add the question about what inspires them, because I don’t ask them that! But I do ask them what makes them happy. Most of the women I’ve interviewed so far have answered: music, food, nature, dancing, traveling, family and friends. Their biggest struggle is staying true to themselves and trusting themselves in every aspect of their life.
“Their biggest struggle is staying true to themselves and trusting themselves in every aspect of their life.”
Are the women of Europe happy, confident and empowered? In other words, is the future of Europe female?
It definitely is! Of course, women aren’t happy all the time, but I don’t think that is something we should strive for, which is something that Renata from Warsaw pointed out so nicely in her interview. I think there is still some work to do in the confidence department; a lot of women are still struggling with living the life they deep down feel they want to live. But they’re definitely empowered, they have plans, they have goals, they have jobs, they have opinions and they are doing it all. I think when we don’t aim for perfection in every area of our life and stop playing small but show the world how great and talented we really are, we will run the world one day. There’s still a lot of work to do, but we’re getting there.
“A lot of women are still struggling with living the life they deep down feel they want to live.”
Is Prague on your list too?
For sure! My goal is to visit all the capital cities in Europe, although that may take a while. Now that
you mention Prague, I immediately think: yes, let’s go there! It happens all the time when someone mentions a certain city!
And, finally, what does success mean to you?
Doing what you like and being able to make a living out of it. I realize that not every woman in the world is in a position to like the job that pays the bills, so this is at the same time my wish for women around the world.
From left to right: Dominique, photo by Florian Bremaud; Renate, photo by Marta Ankiersztejn-Węgier; Maja, photo by Bora Dervishi; Prune, photo by Luís Luz; Paola, photo by Piero Cremonese; Catia, photo by Luís Luz